live music
Rhye
That voice, half whisper, half confession. I want to stand in a dark room while it moves through me like warm water.
desires
What happens when red meets blue.
A place where I share what I want, out loud, with the world.
descend
i · the pulse
Desire is how aliveness speaks.
There is a pulse in each of us. It was there before we had words for it, and it keeps beating underneath all of them.
Desire is that pulse finding a voice. Every true want is life leaning forward inside you, pointing toward where it wants to flow next.
Most of us were taught to manage our desires. To make them reasonable. To wait until we have earned them. And somewhere in all that waiting, we go a little numb, and life starts to feel like something happening to us from the outside.
When I tap into what I truly desire, I feel it in my body first. My breath drops lower. My skin wakes up. Colors get brighter. That is aliveness, and it is available the moment I let myself want.
Moving toward a desire, even one small step, is moving with the current of life that flows within each of us.
Resisting it is swimming upstream against your own nature. Following it, you start to feel carried.
So I am naming mine here, in the open. Partly to hold myself to them. Mostly as an invitation for you to find yours.
ii · the practice
Desire pulling.
Like pulling a silk thread out of the dark. The first few answers come out polite, the ones you could say at a dinner party. Keep pulling. The juicy ones live just past the point where you think you're done.
- Arrive. Three slow breaths, the exhale longer than the inhale. One hand on your belly, one on your heart.
- Pull. Finish the sentence "I desire…" again and again, quickly, without editing. Let the silly ones out. Let the big ones out.
- Go under. When you run dry, reach lower: If no one would ever know, I'd want… · What my body is asking for is… · Before I learned to be reasonable, I dreamed of… · The life I secretly envy looks like…
- Feel for the charge. Read each one back slowly. Notice which ones make your breath catch, your chest warm, your cheeks flush, a smile you can't hold back. That charge is aliveness. Those are the juicy ones.
- Move. Choose one juicy desire and give it a single act of motion within the next day. A search, a message, a date on the calendar. Small is perfect.
arrive
Touch the light to breathe with it.
Nothing you write here leaves your device.
iii · mine
What I am moving toward.
Here are the ones that make my pulse quicken. Touch each veil to see it.
i
To be moved by sound
Live music, felt in the ribs.
live music
Coldplay
A whole stadium of wristbands pulsing the same color. I want to sing until I'm hoarse inside a crowd that has become one body.
live music
Kings of Convenience
Two guitars, two voices, and so much space between the notes. I want the hush of a room leaning in together.
ii
To witness bodies in flight
Spectacle that makes the impossible look like breath.
spectacle
Cirque du Soleil
Bodies doing what bodies shouldn't be able to do, lit like a dream. I want to watch with my mouth open and my heart in my throat.
spectacle
Riverdance
A line of dancers striking the floor as one heartbeat. I want to feel that rhythm come up through my seat and into my spine.
iii
To meet the earth
Stone, steam, and wild places.
adventure
Climbing Mount Roraima
An ancient table of stone floating above the clouds where Venezuela, Brazil and Guyana meet, the mountain that inspired The Lost World. I want to climb it and sleep on top of it.
ritual
The onsens of Japan
Steam rising off mineral water, snow on the rocks, bare skin and silence. I want to wander from spring to spring across Japan, one small town at a time.
iv
To build what holds us
Roots, walls, and a people.
community
A community village
A place where neighbors are chosen family, meals are shared on long wooden decks, and the land is tended together. I want to invest in one and help build it with my own hands.
Something like Rosemary Dream, a jungle village above the surf.
home
A house in the tropics, A to Z
From the first sketch to the last tile. Choosing the land, learning where the sun rises, raising walls that open to the jungle and the sea. I want to build a home with my own choices in every corner of it.
iv · yours
Desires grow stronger when spoken.
Mine are out in the open now. If one of them is yours too, or you know a door toward one, I'd love to hear it.
tell me one of yours